I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize