You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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