Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
