he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
