Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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