What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
