Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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