She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
