Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
3 2 1 whiskey
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
