I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize