Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
