is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
