At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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