Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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