it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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