I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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