i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
