Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
