the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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