it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I need water and some morals
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
