And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
