It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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