ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
