What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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