So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
