Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
