Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
3 2 1 whiskey
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
