Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
