I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
