grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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