She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The beer is more important than you right now.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Less talking, more tequila
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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