That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
