i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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