i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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