I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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