Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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