its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
