watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he fucked my hip out of place.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I can't put those talents on a resume
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize