I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
