it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
