i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
