There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
