upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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