who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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