Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
