After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We are all done wearing pants today
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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