lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
not ubering you a puppy
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