Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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