We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
