Just cropdusted the office
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
