you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
