My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
