Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
