How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
