You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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