you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
