Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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