OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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