After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
