It's Friday. Sex?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
