what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
