She bit a glass in half.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
