I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
