I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
