You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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