I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize