ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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