So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
