Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
