I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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