i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
