Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
third nipple confirmed
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
