You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
